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You Suck, Eggs!

I knew this morning was going to be hectic. I had to get Mad up early, feed her breakfast, get her on the potty, dress her, and get her out the door and into the car, and drive her to school in time to catch the boat (she takes a ferry to school every day, lucky girl). However, I hit a weird button on my alarm (I swear I’ve never seen it before) that allowed me to blissfully sleep another 45 minutes. Ha.

Add to this the fact that Mad didn’t want to leave her new little brother (afraid she would miss the party), and you have a recipe for fun. She didn’t want to get dressed. She didn’t want to go pee. She didn’t want to get her coat on. She didn’t want to eat. And we had all of 30 minutes to get outside. Luckily I’ve done this before. I keep her distracted and make sure to give her plenty of choices so that she feels some semblance of control.

We put a big picture of Baz in her backpack so she could show it/brag to her classmates and teachers. On the phone to her Grandma yesterday she said, “I have a brother. He’s a boy. His name is Bezsasschin. I’m a BIG SISTER!”

A small bowl of Life cereal and a dangerously dwindling supply of Omega fortefied soymilk was our speedy breakfast choice. She cried a bit. Wanted to stay home. Wanted to help Mama. Wanted to play with Baz. Wanted anything but to get outside. When I got her into her jacket and rainboots (faster than runners) and opened the front door I was confronted by dripping gooey hardening eggy slop all over the front screen. White eggshells dotted the stairs. A quick look around the front revealed a few hits to the sunroom windows, a few hits to the screen door, and a few hits to the rental car (which is now a blue Chrysler Seabreeze which sucks because the driver’s seat is way to low for me).

F*@$ing a$$&*!#s threw eggs at our house!

I said a few inappropriate things at a volume I would describe as under my breath until I heard Mad repeat them. I hustled her into the car, traffic was bad, and I had to dash her onto the ferry to catch up with the teachers. Not wanting to get stuck on the ferry, and being double parked, I gave Mad a quick kiss. She started to cry, wanting desperately to go back home to be with her Mama. I told her I’d pick her up soon, “Show everyone that you’re a big sister now. Show them your picture of Sebastian.” I told her. Then I had to run. I could hear her crying as I trotted off the boat and back to the parking lot. Four cars were waiting patiently for me to move.

On the way home I listened to a radio program about science and miracles. A man vacationing in Mexico was knocked out by a wave. He was without oxygen for 45 minutes. He had less than a .1% chance of survival. A Mexican doctor with a strange practice of freezing heart attack victems decided to give his hypotermia treatment to this guy as a final nothing-to-lose effort. And after 72 hours this man who was in a vegetative coma, came back from the brinkest brink of death. He had no brain damage, but couldn’t move his body. Turns out a giant wave had actually smashed him into the sand and pushed a nerve inbetween two vertibrae in his neck. If he had not have been frozen, the nerve would have swollen and his paralysis would have been permenant. He’s now learning to walk again, and he and his family are just happy that he’s still around.

Kinda puts a few eggs into perspective, doesn’t it?


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